checkersjunky

I'm so close to being done the semester I can taste it.

One final paper to go. 12-15 pages regarding Language and Cultural Heritage. Due date: Thursday.
One final presentation too. 4 minutes. 10 Slides. About that paper. Due date: Wednesday

I need to do a bunch of research still but I've already got one page written fully! AND I SOUND SMART!

I often feel insecure about my writing because I have a very simplified style, and I write as I speak (minus the swearing). Most academics write in a much more fanciful style...using big words, allusions, nuances. But I don't. It makes me worried sometimes about how my professor will grade me as a result - and whether I'm living up to expectations.

But yay! At least this one seems to sound intelligent. Now to go do a bunch of research...after I eat some Chinese food and watch some Murder, She Wrote.

And I'm at the Library! Sittin in the cafeteria area. Drinkin orange crush. Working on creating a Gantt chart. I've never done one before. But I must MUST get this done by 6 am. I'm hoping to have my portion of my 70% group presentation finished by 6 am, and looking spiffy. Then I might go home and shower and maybe pass out for a bit. Presentation is tonight at 5 pm; Group meeting a couple hours before that. Presentation is currently in shambles - not my fault. My part looks fun and interesting and I've added a few small comments in it. (Dad would be so proud).

I realized the other day how much I take after my father. I'm so grateful for that.

He's always been a showman. He went into business instead. But he excels at it, and he works very hard but it seems to come easy to him. My father is the kind of guy who could sell snake oil and make a killing. He's just pure entertainment and charm when he wants to be. At 69 years old, he's still working hard. He recently went to a trade show for his industry. He had to give a presentation, at least one per day of the show. The second last "sold out" (as in - standing room only, no one pays to attend these things). Before the last show, the Vice President of his major competitor asked if they could sit in on his presentation. He refused (naturally). The last show was "sold out" as well.
Now, my father has been known for EVER for his corny jokes. But apparently this time, he had someone in the audience who had one of those infectious laughs. You know the kind, where you hear them start and you can't help but laugh too? Well, someone in the audience was like that. And they laughed at every one of my father's corny jokes. He was thrilled. At the end of the presentation, he bid the crowd good day, and found they were just sitting there staring at him. He said "folks, shows over! you can leave!" One man stood up and said "I haven't had this much fun at a convention....ever! DO IT AGAIN!" Another man said "I was laughing so hard, I missed some of your points! could you go over them again?!" I could hear my father beaming over the phone. He was so proud.

So yes. My father got an encore at a trade show presentation.
Awesome.

Last week of the semester! (Hooray!)
Which also means a crazy amount of work is due! (Boo!)
Currently at:
1 - Policy Review (group project) 15% of mark - fully finished.
2 - Comparison Paper (solo project) 30% of mark - written but needing a rewrite.
3 - Brief (Group project) 70% of mark - 1/3 finished.

Oi.
I should really get to work.

So, I've been watching the second all-night council meeting all day.
I feel disgusted by some of my city councillors.
And others I've gained so much respect for.

Truthfully, I never follow politics. As a result, this is a true rarity. I feel connected with my general community in my new found disgust. How devastatingly tragic. I should feel connected with my community through my positive outlook or my shared enthusiasm to improve my city. Even the shared sense of grief felt with the death of Jack Layton was such a unifying and beautiful moment.

This makes everything that I'm experiencing at this moment just that much worse.

Rob Ford has shown himself to be a poor time-keeper and, of course, an even poorer listener. He appears to be paying little attention to anything that is said, except how long it takes for them to say it. He cut off a visually impaired man who was speaking on behalf of HIV charity funding. The man was unable to see the timer and Ford just cut him off.
Another man was speaking and asked a question - he was supposed to have a total of 1 minute to respond to questions. I'm still unsure if it is meant to be 1 minute per question or if it is 1 minute including the asking of the question. However, one of the councillors (Del Grande) asked a question (making more of a point than actually asking) and allowed that the deputant would have no time with which to respond.

Then there was the issue regarding Mammoliti.
He has (in the past) commented that those who deputed at the last all-night meeting were communists. We all know that this has often also been attributed to members of Unions. Well, he decided to ask (snidely) to which union a particular deputant belonged. He did not belong to any! His response was that he didn't belong to any - aside from the union called Residents of Toronto. He then proclaimed loudly that he was not a communist either. This resulted in a round of applause and cheers from the room. Mammoliti quasi-apologized and asked if the deputant would be willing to pay 35% tax increase - this was met with cries of "LIES! You're lying!!" from the crowd. This cut off what he was going to continue to say. Ford interrupted saying that as long as Mammoliti was being interrupted by the crowd he would be allowed to talk for as long as he wanted. Please note the absence of a time limit now.
I love when rules only apply to those who are not best buddies with the mayor.

As I was writing this, Mayor Ford was presented with an award from a deputant for uniting the city - against this threat of cutting. Apparently, I was not the only one feeling this way.

I am very concerned. I knew that there were threats to the library system - both in terms of closures and cut hours. I was not, however, aware of the potential cuts / closures to Museums. Seeing as this is what I have just started school for as my SECOND Master's degree. I was hoping to work in my general area once I graduated. I'm now fearing that this will not be possible. The whole thing is quite disheartening. Insert my insecurities about my future here.

As a secondary comment - deputant is not actually a word. I have been unable to find it in any sort of dictionary or even reference material. Still, it has been thrown around so liberally throughout these proceedings this summer that it has become a word in its own right, I suppose.

The saying goes,"The best way to get over a guy is to get under another one." I've never prescribed to that philosophy. In fact, I think that generally just makes you not really get over the first one, and then you just end up becoming dependent on men for validation and feelings of self-worth...which ultimately can fuck you up royally. Instead, I'm a fan of getting the fuck out of Dodge after a breakup. Sure it's just putting off the hurt and the pain and the memories, but sometimes you just need that snap that "oh shit, there is life outside the routine I've been living which included him so much..." and then you can come back to your daily routine and it may seem slightly less routine.
So...as I prepare to move back to Toronto, I'm also preparing to fuck-off out of the UK. As I've explained, there are a few reasons, including the expiration of my UK visa, but ultimately I am leaving the routine and the familiarity and the memories. Hopefully to have a little bit of an adventure and some fun.

First stop: Barcelona, Spain. I leave Monday morning (8 am! which means I have to be at the airport 2 hrs before, which also means approx 2 hrs of travel BEFORE that just to get to the airport...so...that means leaving my house around 3 or 4 am today? Wonderful.) I've booked a hostel for two nights there, but I may extend my stay if I need to.

Next: Montpellier, France. I have a friend who lives there and said I was welcome to come stay with her! South of France is allegedly lovely, and while I doubt Montpelier is the top destination there...I'm sure it is also lovely, and a different side to France than the Paris I'm familiar with.

Followed by: Switzerland! I have decided I might as well go since it's right there, and how kickass would it be to go skiing for a day on the Swiss alps? Pretty kickass. I don't care if it's not the best country for skiing, I'm not an excellent skiier, but it just seems like something excellent to do. This is probably where most of my money will be going this trip, but it should be fun. I haven't picked an exact destination, but it seems like a good plan.

Finishing in: Brussels, Belgium! Another friend is willing to put me up, and I've never been to Brussels - so why the fuck not?

Then I'm back in London for February 9th, just for the night, as I'm leaving my big luggage bag with a friend who is nice enough to hold on to it while I travel. I'll stay at hers that night then it's back to the airport and off home!

It may not be a very inclusive European holiday, but I think it's ambitious for less than 10 days, and I get to see some friends along the way. Hooray!


ALSO:
UoT admissions are apparently nicer than I gave them credit. King's still hasn't sent them my transcript, and the deadline for applications to Museum Studies is Monday. So I e-mailed UoT and they actually said "no worries" which is an incredibly laidback approach and I was a little bit shocked. So, it seems I will have my application in on-time even if they don't receive my transcript. Which means that IF I get accepted (which I would love) then I may be eligible to receive funding! I am basically praying I get funding because at the moment I'm not sure how I would pay for it. I'm unsure if OSAP would cover me or not...

But yes! Interesting moments to come!

Hello Cyberspace.
Don't you miss when people used to call it cyberspace? I feel old just thinking about it.
I have OFFICIALLY booked a flight home!!! Hooray! I return to Canada February 10th! This means that the 10th - 18th I shall be in K-town sleeping / unpacking / sorting / repacking all of my crap.
I will be in T-dot from the 18th - 20th (assuming I can crash on someone's couch for the weekend so I don't have to floor it in my new non-furnished apartment while we paint).
Then back to K-town till the 23rd (or 22nd) when we will be moving in. Anyone who has big strong manly friends who want to help us move our shit please get in touch. And anyone who might be up for a painting party on that weekend (18-20) to help us paint our lovely digs also get in touch - snacks and refreshments likely provided (and it's me and Jess - so you know we go big on the homemade goodies, tunes, and alcohol).

In the time between the 30th and the 10th (since I "can't" be in the UK - I am going to be travelling Europe for a little bit! I'm thinkin' Spain (since I've never been), maybe Montpellier (france, I have a friend who lives there), Maybe Brussels! (2 friends there!) We'll see though! Europe is hard because there are a lot of cool things to do that I haven't done! But it IS quite expensive, and I want to spend no more than £500 on this trip (since that will weigh evenly with my rent / how much I'd spend in London for the month.
It's also hard to know exactly how long it takes to get from one place to another since I'm not sure if I should travel by air or by train or by bus or what... Hmm

Lady's and Gents,
Merry Christmas! (Even if you don't celebrate it).
My Christmas gift to you?

I'm moving to downtown Toronto in February/March.

HOORAY!
ALSO, I extended my trip home because no one is going to be in London for New Years, so I will be around until sometime after then!

Hooray!

Get excited.

So.
Long time, no update.
I've been really depressed since finishing school. The job-front isn't working out so well, and I'm feeling extremely discouraged. I've decided that I don't want to teach kids - which, I knew years ago. But I was considering it, since it's the only thing I appear to be qualified for here. I can't even get a secretarial position because I don't have 6 months experience. London is being extremely expensive as well. £450 / month for rent (inclusive), then another unknown amount for travel, phone, and food. But food is generally very expensive. Far over priced. I miss produce for cheap also.

Where I'm going with this is....I'm considering moving back to Canada. While I can technically move anywhere in Canada (because it's not like I have a particular job or anything) I might move to Toronto, as I have friends there. There's even a chance that if I decide soon that I might be able to live with a friend who is moving out of her place soon.

Ultimately, I can't decide. I feel really conflicted about this whole thing.

Pros for London:
-It's motherfucking London, it's a great city and there's always free stuff going on
-I have some great friends here
-If I decide to do my PhD here, then staying here for 3 years would help with paying only "home fees" as opposed to international student fees (which are like triple/quadruple the price)
-Cheap travel to Europe,
-Friends want to come visit in february/the summer, which would be fun

Cons for London:
-The weather here sucks balls. All the time.
-It's really really expensive. Really. Really expensive. I probably spend close to £1000 a month in total.
-No jobs, and feeling depressed about it.
-No visa (At the moment) and I'm hearing it's getting more difficult to get one since they are capping them now because the economy sucks so bad.Which it will also cost me some hundreds of pounds to apply for.
-I'm in a really bad routine here right now, sleeping all the time and being depressed and doing nothing to fix my situation because I'm "content" in my depression.

Pros for Toronto:
-Real seasons /weather (not fake-winter and fake summer)
-cheaper - by a lot. A friend said I can probably do $500/month if i'm in a 2 bed. which equates to around £320. I currently pay £450. Plus food and stuff is a lot cheaper at home. We have things like KD for less than $1.
-I have a lot of friends there / nearby, to hang out with and /or help me get back on my feet
-I don't need a visa to work there
-I keep hearing about fun things going on in Toronto that I wish I were part of, so obviously there are fun things going on

Cons for Toronto:
-I've NEVER liked the city. in fact, I kind of hate it. I have never lived there before, so it may just be that I don't know the areas I would like, but yeah. It's a shitty city to me.
-My friends all have jobs / lives there so there would still be that whole me being kind of thrown into it thing
-Can't go to Europe for cheap (not that I can right now, since I have no money)
-feeling like I've wasted all this time here in london
-no jobs?

From a financial stand-point, if I don't get a job super quick, then it makes sense to go to Toronto, because at least if I am not working then I am not spending as much to just live poorly. But there's still that whole romanticised view of London I have over Toronto. I know London will be different after Dave leaves - which he almost surely is...in February. So, it's not like he's going to be here to keep me company or spend time with me.

I don't know what to do.

Finally feeling SLIGHTLY set up in my new house, even though there still appears to be a bunch to do. I need towels, shoes, clothes, a doctor, some bowls, etc. I also need to figure out how to put my futon up into a couch. Because that would be nice.
I developed an odd giant blister on the outside of my leg after friday night. I have yet to find the explanation other than "I fell off a stool" which is true. It popped on Saturday night and left a giant wound like thing. I got it to scab on Sunday night, but it looks REALLY gross. And I am slightly concerned about it.
Fun things I get to do soon?: Cardiff trip, Athens trip.
Un-fun things I get to do soon?: write a CV and apply for jobs.
Considering going to school and taking advantage of Career counselling and visa application help today. Maybe trying to use the doctor there just one last time so I don't have to find one here yet.
New housemate is really nice! If a bit reserved. But that's probably good since I have had my fill of crazy for a while.

I got my dissastertation in on time! And it wasn't as much of a disaster as I had thought it would be! I'm not sure how great it is, but I'm generally okay with it..which is about all I can be at this point. Ended up being 11,400. Which was perfect since apparently my limit was 10-12,000. very pleased.
Right. Off to shower and head into town I think. Try and use up King's resources as much as possible before they expire!

To those of you keeping tabs on the great Dissastertation 2010...
I have recently discovered that my paper is actually limited to be between 10,000-12,000. NOT 12,000-15,000 as I thought. This may be good or bad. Knowing me? Probably bad.
I have just hit the line of : 10,300 words.
This has zero citations. only a few quotes. zero evidence for what I have written. and no conclusion.

As soon as I finish typing out a general intro/conclusion, I am going to bed for a couple hours in order to get up and finish MOVING. Yes today is also the day I get kicked out of my residence room. Thank. Fucking. God.
Now, I love my friends that I have made here. And you really can't beat the location so close to central London. But I am so excited to not have a million housemates sharing a bathroom and NOT have a disgusting and tiny kitchen and NOT have to worry about cleaning up after other people's shit. and NOT have people stealing my food, when there's so few things I buy anyway.

So, temporarily I am staying with a friend for a few days because I can't actually get into my new place until mid-week. So...one week of couch-surfing while I edit this beast of a mother-fucker.